You probably didn't know that scientists even use bones of contention, did you? They're kind of like the wishbone from a turkey dinner, and one scientist grabs one end and the other disagreeing scientist grabs the other end. Then they pull. But first they make their sacred scientist promise, on the memory of Isaac Newton. He had a really good memory, AND he invented calculus. This was done so that he could assign more homework to his students and they couldn't just look up the answers on the Internet.

Which come to think of it is what I am providing right here. But without any calculus. (Here is a good trick scientist question: Did Newton have to take calculus when HE was a student? Answer: No, it was assigned the semester that he was on break when the apple clunked him on the head. Once he invented gravity all the apples started falling, and everybody was in the apple orchards grabbing the apples without using ladders anymore. Everybody was so happy they forgot about the calculus class for Newton. Except the ladder guys. They were practically out of business. That is why the word "gravity" is sometimes used to describe a serious situation.)

Back to the moon question: Why DOES the moon turn different colors? There are three main answers. Scientifically, it has never been solved, mostly because there are no turkey bones with three ends. Here are the three answers:

Many scientists believe that the colors are actually just ordinary rust. It is known that the reddish color of Mars is due to rust, but on the moon they are not sure. The rust is probably from all the Apollo mission crap that they never bagged and brought down. One day, long after the Apollo missions have been forgotten, the NASA stuff on the moon will be rediscovered and everybody on earth will know it was from the 60s and 70s. No, not because it is painted with psychedlic color schemes. The two main clues will be that it is there in the first place and no one recycled it (hey, all that stuff is made out of aluminum. You could get good money for it). The other main reason? No plastic water bottles.

The second competing theory (you didn't know theories compete either, did you? Well they do, but they usually play Ping-Pong, and the ideas just go back and forth, so it's pretty boring. I have always hoped they would switch to beach volleyball, at least the uniforms are interesting) is (whew, almost got lost in the parentheses, but I'll bet you were paying better attention) that (wow, it almost happened again) the moon gets a little embarrassed at this time of year. No, it is not due to news stories such as Ciara posing for a magazine cover fully clothed only to have her garments photoshopped off the cover of VIBE magazine so that they could put her on the newsstand au naturel      ( http://www.atlnightspots.com/2008/09/03/ciara-gets-naked-for-vibe-cover/ ),      OR the Diamonbacks competing for the West division pennant against the Dodgers (baseball, people, baseball: keep up, please!) despite having a losing record, but rather due to general conditions around the world. Yeah, mostly Sarah Palin & the nomination, but also the Republican reaction to the bad economic news (millions of foreclosures? No problem! But now we are seeing actual financial corporations impacted, so we need to ACT! over the weekend!! to shore up the faltering economy!!!).

That's the embarassment theory. As you can guess, most reputable scientists do not subscribe to it. You didn't know scientists subscribe to theories? Well, they do. They come in the mail, but the delivery is so sporadic that a lot of them forget they even subscribed until the next issue lands in their mailbox. They even have a theoretical swimsuit issue. And they don't need a real swimsuit. Because it's only theoretical! And that saves money. (No photoshopping required.)

The third reason for the color of the moon is particles in the upper atmosphere. It is believed that these particles are very, very tiny. However, being scientific, the particles still have tiny calculators and graph paper and stuff. They figure out when the moon is in just the right position and they put colors on it.

So those are the three different answers. If you want more information, you can look it up on the world wide web.

Just don't tell Newton.

It is getting harder and harder to find it, as it is now buried under my second gray hair, my third gray hair, and so on. I have a small Confederate army up there, gathering as if to do battle above my ears. The rest of the hair on top is battling back, which is a good thing. I would hate to think that they're just giving in.

When you have a few gray hairs, people treat you a little different. More retail workers call you, "Sir." Co-workers turn to you for answers. For instance I am frequently asked questions about our retirement plan at work.

I admit I work with a lot of younger people. A strange thing happened about twenty years ago. That's when I was still the youngest person in an aging work environment. When I was in my early 30s I was the next-to-youngest person at work. I could still play Frisbee in the halls if I wanted to. Of course I didn't play Frisbee in the halls, because I was busy trying to convince everybody that I was experienced and responsible.

Then we expanded, and a bunch of new people were hired. They were all teenagers. I became old overnight. By my late 30s I was one of the grizzled veterans.

But at least I didn't have any gray hair yet. That came later as my three boys were growing up. Soccer game (I was the "Coach" but I have to put it in quotes because I knew next to nothing about the game) in which not one of our players kicked toward the goal in the entire first half, because they were passing to teammates: Gray hair. Boy scout bicycle outing, the final 50-miler so everybody could earn their merit badge, except that I had a flat about 20 miles in and had to wait for a rescue bike from our garage to finish the big ride: Gray hair. Getting pulled over at 2 in the morning on Prom night, because I had to haul myself out of bed and drive a borrowed Lincoln across town to pick people up at the post-Prom gathering: several Gray hairs.

I'm sure you get the idea.

Fortunately those days are over. Right now I am just sitting around blogging in comfort. Waiting to cut my grass on a Saturday morning. With a borrowed lawn mower. Because youngest broke the handles on my vauntedly green machine that I have been using this year. And then transported its backup to his college house last month. Where the back lawn still hasn't been mowed, at least not as of a week ago when we were there. Visiting.