The Lord High Pharoah, Son of Isis, the Living Presence of Ra Incarnate, Brother to the Sun is just arriving home from a weekend fishing trip.: "Hon! I'm home!"

Mrs. Pharoah: "Catch anything?"

Lord High: "Coupla perch. It was pretty hot out there."

Mrs. P: "Yeah. Blame your brother. Did you put the boat in the pyramid?"

Lord High: "It's out in back. I'll put it away tomorrow."

She says nothing, but gives him the Look.

Lord High: "I gotta check the trailer lamps. I'll take care of it."

Two weeks later.

Mrs. Pharoah: "Your boat's still out. I thought you were going to put it away in the pyramid. What'd you build it for if you never use it?"

Lord High: "What? Oh. I'm using the boat next weekend."

Mrs. P.: "Next weekend?! We have plans." Her Look again. Lord High Pharoah is staring blankly. Her eyebrows raise: "Our Prince's coronation?"

Lord High: "That's next weekend? I told the whole court I'd catch enough for a palace feast." The eyebrows stay up. "I know, I know. OK, I'll go next month."

"Next month's flood season, hon."

"Geez! Well, I'll get one more chance." She turns her back. "Well, I'm leaving th boat out just in case."

"That's your ceremonial boat. You don't have another one. Why don't you put it away in the pyramid, and you can use one of the boats down at the pier."

"NO way! I'm not using one of those grimy things when I have the royal yacht. All the scribes'll laugh."

"Well, it's your funeral, not mine. What are you gonna do when it's time to cross over and your boats all dried up?"

"Oh, yeah, . . . 'Be careful everybody! My boats's too dry.' . . . I'll be a mummy by then, what's wrong with dry?" The Look again. No eyebrows this time. But a hand on one hip. "It'll be fine. It's not gonna dry up in one month."

A month later.

Mrs. Pharoah: "I saw your boat today. I was walking Rexus around the south side of the pyramid. The trailer is totally buried in the sand."

Lord High Pharoah: "Why are you walking Rexus? You know I don't like you on the South side all by yourself."

Mrs. P: "I was fine. But your boat's almost in the sand."

"It's almost flood season. It'll get rinsed off."

"Whatever you say, 'Ra Incarnate!' Obviously you know all and see all."

"Just stay away from the South side, OK? There's a lot of grave robbers out there."

"Well, maybe they'll save your boat."

"That's a laugh. Even grave robbers know enough to stay away from the Royal Barge. It'll be fine. Anyway, I might need it for hunting next month. I'm going up the Nile for giraffe."

"That's just what we need. Another giraffe. The last one wouldn't even fit above the mantle. It looks great in the foyer, though." Now he's using the Look. "It's your funeral boat, not mine. I'm just saying, if you leave it out it's going to dry out. That's all I'm saying."

 THE LINK BELOW NO LONGER WORKS. It was the punchline to the littel story in which you find out that the Egyptians have discovered the dessciated remains of an Egyptian funerary boat right next to the big pyramids.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080719/ap_on_sc/egypt_ancient_boat

I have been mowing the grass with an old-fashioned type lawn mower that you have to push around. Here is an update on what has been happening since I first mentioned this in May: the grass keeps on growing.

We have had more-than-typical rainfall totals this summer. Since it's July it's about time for the grassblades to take a little break. Generally in midsummer they will go dormant, start to look a little browner, and stop growing so much. That hasn't happened yet. But I don't mind. Because I have a new weapon in my Arsenal of Neatness.

Back on Father's Day in June I received a brand new reel mower as a gift from my sons. I had dropped a couple of hints that I would appreciate a gift like this. And they came through with a brand new one with sharp blades and a wider cutting path. Now I can mow the lawn, and then take a break. My older mower was great and all, but, . . . it was a bit like painting the Golden Gate Bridge. (Hint for those who do not live near the Bay area: the bridge painters just keep on painting, because the bridge is big and it takes a while and by the time they are done it is time to go back and start all over again on the other end, plus I am guessing that given that kind of situation you don't paint real fast.)

Now I can actually mow all of our grass in one afternoon if I feel like it. Which I don't. I generally do one or two sections on one day and then plan on finishing the next day. Unless it rains. The front lawn isn't real big, the side is larger, and the back is a bit larger and also a bit hillier, so it takes longer. But the new mower is faster, now that I have figured out where to squirt the lube to speed up the blade action a bit.

Now my only problem is the neighborhood children. They do not yet share my green consciousness. And they have the summer off. "When are you going to get a real lawn mower?" they tease.

At least if I was painting the Golden Gate bridge I could shove then off.

2. Lot of meetings

3. A bit of political stuff

4. Too much food

5. Not enough exercise

6. Warm and very humid

7. Experienced the National Holocaust Memorial Museum

8. They give you an identity card when you enter

9. Then you see if you survived or not

10. I was a 4-yr old boy

11. I was spending the summer on my uncle's farm in the country

12. When German army invaded my home city, making it unsafe to go home

13. Aunt & Uncle were evacuated by Russians

14. I went with

15. A few months later they both died in our refugee camp due to illnesses sweeping through the camp

16. Miraculously, though now an orphan, I survived the war

17. That's all they tell you, but I was wondering: what happened next?

18. Like: did I move to the US? to Israel? just go back home?

19. Did I marry and have a family?

20. Do my children remember?

21. My grandchildren?

22. Also: had a tour of the US Capitol

23. With one of my favorite people in the universe

24. A hometown girl doing an internship in Dick Durbin's office

25. She toured us around and told us a lot of stories

26. Most of them, she thinks, true

27. But then we realized that the interns only spend eight weeks in D.C.

28. And before they leave they have to help "train" the next group of interns

29. Like teaching them how to give tours

30. So: If you change interns every eight weeks, how long does it take until all the stories have become "stretched"

31. Have you ever played the "Telephone Game?"

32. Also, two of our sons flew in to join us for part of our stay in Washington

33. They had a good time with us

34. Now we are back home, and the weather is . . .

35. Warm and very humid