Well I have not posted in several days. What's up with Gord THIS time, you ask? (or at least you wonder) (now that I have called your attention to it, I bet you're wondering) (a bit, just a bit). Well, the Spaces that be have altered and reconfigured the format of where to click to all thos Gord-type things like posting, and guess what, they hid my DRAFT entries somewhere! Somewhere that I can't find them. And you know? Those were GOOD d**n draft entries!

1. You worry

2. About things like running out of money

3. And finding safe places to stay

4. And driving on narrow European roads

5. And being tempted to sample drugs.

6. But you’re also happy and kind of proud

7. That he has the interest in the world

8. And the initiative

9. To organize a couple of buddies into a travel group

10. And actually go for it.

11. Second day in London?

12. They scored Center Court tickets to watch Federer

13. (first day of Wimbledon)

14. By spending all night in the ticket queue

15. But met some nice British girls doing the same

16. Med students

17. And spent the entire next day together.

18. In Spain they ran through the streets

19. Of that Spanish town

20. Where everybody gets chased by bulls.

21. Being a track/cross country type runner

22. It wasn’t close

23. Except that there are a million and a half tourists

24. In a town of one hundred thousand

25. Everyone staying up into the wee hours

26. Blasted on local wine

27. With nowhere to stay

28. Except your car.

29. How was that, you ask?

30. The highlight of the trip!

31. In the morning everybody planning on running must line up at the start of the course

32. And they hand out newspaper

33. It’s to slap the bulls with, if you get close enough,

34. Except that if you look at the paper it’s actually the stats about each bull that will run that day

35. They all have names

36. And they weigh between 650 and 750

37. Kilograms

38. 900 kilos is approx a ton, so each bull is like an entire NFL defensive line crashing into you.

39. He ran with one friend

40. While the other guy stayed back to protect the two girls in their group.

41. Not from the bulls!

42. Just from other drunk tourists spilling wine on everybody.

43. Another highlight was hiking to small towns in Italy

44. And seeing the Vatican

45. And Monaco.

46. He had his bag stolen in Spain

47. With his passport

48. And a paper copy of his debit card

49. So we had to Western Union him some extra cash in Paris

50. And then they went to Holland and visited ex-exchange student’s family

51. And her baby

52. Which we had also done just last month.

53. Now he’s back safe and sound

54. We picked him up at the airport

55. And heard his travel stories.

56. Some of the things that we worried about

57. Actually happened.

58. But a lot didn’t.

Where I live in the Midwest you get a fair amount of nice weather, but not too many days of perfect weather. I would just like to note that we are now experiencing perfect summer weather. Highs are in the low 80s, with low humidity and big fluffy-type clouds. Chance of thunderstorms this afternoon, but hey, it's only a CHANCE.

It's reminding me of hiking in California, in the Sierras. There, once you get a bit of altitude, air temperatures are warm but not hot, the sun is bright and hot, and the air feels dry and breezy. At night it gets genuinely cold if you are up anywhere near treeline. We would typically find ice atop our water bottles by morning. But once the sun hits you everything is good. The Sierras are just about perfect hiking conditions in the summer.

We hiked up the trail to Muir Pass, somewhere around 10,000 feet, (it's 11,995 feet, just looked it up) and had snow on beautiful spouse's birthday, the 6th of August. That was cool, and definitely a first for her. That was the summer that we hiked the John Muir Trail out of Yosmite, which took us about five weeks total. Most hikers do it faster, but I don't think there was anyone doing it better, because we had our three boys. That trip created a lot of memories for us as a family. They were 16, 14, and 10 and my two older sons were quite fit from running at the high school level. The other three of us GOT fit in the first couple of weeks, which you have to take pretty easy anyway no matter what shape you are in, because you still have to acclimate to altitude.

Acclimating to the thin air goes about 1000 ft. per day (if you sleep in the thinner air). So being up around 10,000 - 11,000 feet is going to take close to two weeks if you're from the Midwest. Our base altitude here is under 1,000 feet.

There are a lot of good stories from that trip, the overriding principle of good travel stories being that the worse the experience, the better the story. One of the "better" stories involves running out of toilet paper.

When you're backpacking you have to carry everything that you bring. In the mountains that means carrying it uphill, so you have to be pretty ruthless in what you decide to bring. We started the trip with a couple of rolls of toilet paper, but by the time we were doing the Muir Pass that I mentioned with the snow on spouse's birthday, guess what?

We were out of toilet paper. BTW it wasn't my fault. This is hard to believe, but I had not personally used a single square of it. I wasn't even sure what pocket of which pack it was located in.

However our youngest had used more than his share. Being only ten he just didn't observe the typical backpacker's rule that you use it sparingly.

You can probably imagine that this was having some small impact on my spouse's enjoyment of the trip. Running out of toilet paper to a female backpacker is about like running out of food to a male one. There is just no way that you can go on.

So that night, relaxing in our tent, I was making up my mind that the next day I would have to find her some toilet paper even if it meant stealing some from a ranger station outhouse (we were due to cross past a ranger station the next day).

However by mid-morning the next day we were chatting with another group of hikers who had set up a base camp instead of hiking to a different camp each night. They had loads of toilet paper which they were only too happy to give away so that they wouldn't have to carry it out again when their trip was over. They had about five extra rolls and they gave us a couple of them!

I remember the weather being especially beautiful that day.

So. Who is your celebrity crush??

At Yahoo Dave Zinczenko wrote that any man’s celebrity crushes say A LOT about him.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/49812/what-his-celeb-crush-says-about-him. See LINKS at bottom left.

As long as we’re going to reveal what everyone’s celebrity crushes mean, I thought it might be helpful if I weigh in as well.

One hundred ninety-five pounds, on a good day. But besides that, I have concluded after extensive guy-type interviews that most celebrity crushes are not based on knowing any actual celebrities. Guys don’t go that far. Too much effort, plus, deep down you just know that the crushee is not going to be the type of person you actually like to hang with. It’s a whole lot easier for most guys to just have a crush on a picture of their cutie.

Tyra Banks is a good example of a celebrity. It takes an entire army of celebrity-crush experts to make Tyra even look like Tyra. Without their help she would look like any other African-American woman. Who is five feet eleven inches tall. With a perfect body. And flawless skin. But her hair would be a total mess without her army!

What I like about Miss Banks are the two things that I think most guys notice right away: first, how genuine and natural she is when talking to regular people on her talk-show, and second, how model-bitchy she comes across when she is on her Top Model show. It gives you some indication that the real woman has several different sides to her. I happen to like women with sides. I like women with fronts and back, too, which she also has.

Don’t get me started on Jennifer Aniston. Issues. Too skinny. Too many Friends. That hair.

Let’s just go right on to Angelina Jolie. You know she has a tiny mole above one eye that is not even there when she appears on a magazine cover? It has to make you wonder what else they have “enhanced” in the darkroom. But the coolest thing about Angelina is NOT how gorgeous she is, anyway. It’s that if she meets you, she might decide to adopt you, and how cool would that be? “My Dad is Brad Pitt!” That’s going to win most schoolyard arguments right there.

Scarlett Johansson is a good example of a celebrity that ought to come with warning signs. Because when she was seventeen she was playing a 25-year-old married woman in Lost in Translation. Guys with crushes can wake up in cold sweats worrying about things like that. At least I think it was sweat. The opening credits of LIT roll right across her little curvy celebrity butt, and that’s just not right. That’s where the warning sign should have been.

My own celebrity crush history is not a good one. Winona Ryder is a good example of someone I should not have ever had a celebrity crush on. In the early nineties she was busy being all successful, with Oscar nominations, and hot-vampire movies, and huge brown eyes that looked like they could leap off the screen. Turns out she was probably just keeping an eye out for extra stuff that she needed. Really, really needed.

And Uma Thurman could have used a warning sign as well. You start out early in her career and she is all innocent and beautiful (Les Mis, Truth About Cats and Dogs. & especially Baron Munchhausen, her first film appearance) but then she morphs into a sword-yielding Amazon that any guy would love to know. If he had a major street fight coming up.

A lot of guys these days apparently have their celebrity crush on Jessica Alba. Not me. To me she is just early-Uma. I would stay back for a couple of years, and I’ll bet that she will eventually be killing guys with swords or Ninja knives. It’s just a matter of time.

Charlize Theron is a celebrity crush with staying power, though. Charlize is so hot that they have to refrigerate the film immediately after it rolls through the camera. OK, I just made that up, but she does have a Major look. That classic Hollywood look that crushes people into submission with one glance, like a Grace Kelly. Charlize was one of those kids discovered just standing around somewhere in South Africa, like at a Laundromat or somewhere.

Apparently major modeling scouts always go to a lot of Laundromats in weird places like South Africa, where apparently they are always discovering major talent just standing around, innocently watching their clothes go around in the dryer. “Excuse me Miss, but I couldn’t help but notice that you are the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid eyes on. Would you like to pose for some photos?” That sort of thing.

I imagine that most attractive girls are going to hear something like that from time to time, and they just tell the guy (in their cool Sathafrican accent) to “bugger off” before they call the police. But in Charlize’s case, it probably didn’t hurt that her Mom had just killed her Dad (Mom Theron was later acquitted on a plea of self-defense) and little Charlize may have been looking for a ticket off of the family dairy farm. But still, you may not want Charlize as your crush. Major mother-in-law issues ahead.

Beyond-ce? Gorgeous, I can grant you that. But I don’t think she’s had any time off from work since her fourteenth birthday. Mega-parent managers.

So that leaves Shakira . . . she’s perfect.

I just caught this item on Yahoo's news. A guy launched himself into the air on his lawn chair powered by helium balloons.

He then traveled 193 miles in a bid to go from Oregon to Idaho by chair. The article says that he used a BB gun to puncture the balloons when he wanted to come down.

I put in a link at the bottom of my list of links.

My thoughts:

1. Whoever manufactured that lawn chair should contact him immediately about an endorsement deal.

2. His wife gave him permission to do this, apparently reluctantly

3. (She didn’t want to see his dream go unfulfilled)

4. But I’m thinking there have to be thousands of wives who would LOVE to launch their husbands to Idaho

5. Lawn chair or not

6. Isn’t it perfect that his name is Couch??

7. He punctured his balloons to land short of Idaho,

8. Because he was nearing Hell’s Canyon

9. A tough place to land

10. And he had only 8 pounds of ballast left to release if he needed more altitude

11. I think he may go back and fly across the Snake River

12. Just to thumb his nose at Evel Knievel’s rocket powered motorcycle

13. He said that his flight was mostly gentle with a bit of turbulence

14. So were my last four commercial flights

15. And I’ll bet he had a lot more legroom

16. He could hear cows and children while aloft

17. I wonder if the kids noticed him

18. I can picture them asking their Moms if they could try it next

19. There is a videotape from a small plane flying near him to keep an eye on his flight, so there may be some visuals on the news tonight

20. He needed 105 balloons

21. How do you suppose he figured that out?

22. I am guessing that he started to try to figure it out, but then just decided to go with 100

23. And his wife talked him into the extra five, as a safety cushion

24. He started with five plastic water bags for ballast

25. Each one of those would weigh 40 pounds, because water is about 8 pounds to the gallon

26. So he must have had plenty of lift to begin with just to get everything off the ground

27. He also had some instruments including a GPS unit

28. I am figuring that last one was his wife’s idea too

29. Because most guys would figure they could just look out the window to see where they are

30. If they had a window

31. If he had made it to Idaho

32. He would have become the ultimate Couch potato

33. But I say we should award the title anyway

34. Because otherwise he’s going to do it again

Here is the URL: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070710/ap_on_re_us/flying_lawn_chair

Did anyone catch the television coverage of the Live Earth Concerts yesterday? Happy to be home, I watched about six hours of it, flipping back and forth from a couple of stations to catch different acts. (Shakira was in Germany BTW, in the rain, but she didn't look very healthy, I'm not sure what it was, maybe the BOOTS? (she usually performs barefoot) Maybe just not feeling well.)

My favorite highlight was Roger Waters (Pink Floyd). He did a string of PF hits and ended with Another Brick in the Wall with a bunch of school kids on stage with him and a giant white inflatable pig floating above the crowd in New Jersey. It was a great genuine, live moment, not knowing exactly what the kids were going to do, but they did a great job on stage.

Alicia Keys did a great set but I only caught the last song. Bon Jovi was in Jersey as well, which was fun to see. Madonna was in London. I have never been a Madonna fan, but I have to admit that when she is on stage she has a magnetic presence which most other performers can't match.

(BTW if anyone wants to see a BETTER Shakira performance try www.shakira.com and click on the Mexico City You-tube link. On May 27 she performed in front of 200,000 people on the final night of her world tour, largest concert ever in Mexico City.)

Some travel is more fun than other travel.

I just got back from a short trip, mostly business, a little sightseeing on the side. One of my associates wanted to eat at a certain restaurant (he watches Iron Chef) so I went along. I had no idea what to order, but I tried a sushi appetizer (eel & avocado maki) which was good. Living in the Midwest I don't eat a lot of sushi, so I am not good at ordering it.

Meanwhile, my friend was enthralled with what he had ordered, the extensive complete menu, about nine courses I think. So he was getting a constant stream of strange foods, fatty tuna (raw of course), little raw oysters with some kind of special stuff drizzled onto them, nearly raw kobe beef. For a while I mostly just watched.

And listened. Because my colleague was totally drunk by the time we got to the restaurant, so he never shut up. Some stories I heard more than once. (They were good stories though.) He had already had two manhattans by the time I got to the hotel bar, and while I had one beer, he downed two martinis. (Martinis are enormous these days, aren't they?? They used to be served in a small glass.) We walked to the restaurant, about six blocks. I walked, he stumbled.

We found the restaurant, which was filled with gorgeous women, I'm not sure why. Two more martinis with dinner pretty much guaranteed that he was not going to notice them, which was a shame. He also wouldn't remember too much about what he ate, which was also a shame because he had made his reservation over a month ago. It was fun to see what he was getting, but I had to wait through about five more of his courses before my meal arrived.

But it was worth the wait. It was called, "Ishi Yaki Buri Bop" in Japanese, but in English that translates to "Ouch, I burned my fingers again." It consisted of a large stone bowl, oven-hot, with a large mound of cooked rice and raw fish and vegetables. The waiter then placed the raw ingredients against the bowl to cook them briefly. Then he poured in a little sauce and I was allowed to start eating. After the long wait I was hungry, and it was pretty tasty.

My spaced-out friend gave me a compliment during dinner. He was trying to guess my age and he guessed way too young, and was genuinely shocked to find out my true age (34) (about) (sort of). I am figuring that even though his brain cells had been blasted by enough alcohol to detonate a car-bomb, he was still coherent enough to form actual sentences.

So I am taking the compliment at face value.