There is an epidemic sweeping through my family and friends. It's not my fault, but they are all blaming me for passing it on to them.

 

In case this happens to anybody else, here are the main symptoms: irritability, inability to speak in a civil tone, and eye-rolling. Yes, that's right. They have caught  a bad case of Swine Flu Jealousy. And they all blame me.

 

It's all because my workplace has a suspected case of the dreaded Swine Flu. So the whole building is shut down. No one can go to work. It's not that I don't WANT to go to work. I can't. The county health authorities have shut us down at least until next Monday.

 

Now my first question is: how did everyone I know get wind of this development? Sure, when I got my phone call (while at my in-laws' helping them moving into assisted living: yeah, that's another story) there was  a SMALL amount of fist pumping and a tiny whoop, but they wouldn't have noticed that. Maybe it was the goofy smile that was plastered all over my face for the next three hours?

 

Of course, the next question is: Is there any danger? I really don't think so. Sure, they're jealous, and there is no one left that I could turn to for help (my spouse caugt the jealousy immediately and she has a  particularly bad infection), but I don't think they would do me any actual harm.

 

A cold stare is probably about as bad as it will get.

What's it like to ride in the "Little 500" bike race? I have no idea. But I'm guessing that it might be almost as nerve-wracking as watching from the stands with other parents.

 

Here's the last two min of the two hour race:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSD8VX2WPtM   (the good guy is in yellow #3)

 

Having a son (or daughter) who is into bicycle racing is like having a house on a beach. It's a fun and engrossing experience, as long as you don't get washed out to sea by a big wave. Any parents who have gone to several races have probably seen their loved one crash and (road)burn, then get up, and hop back on. That is always a fun one to see.

 

The "Little 5" is actually not so little. It is thousands of screaming college students all focusing their considerable energy on a banked oval covered with mud and cinders. Teams have four guys and ride 200 quarter-mile laps in just over two hours. The guys take turns, but not in any preordained way. Each team strategizes how to get their best sprinter onto the bike with a couple of laps to go and either a tiny lead or at least a clear vision of the lead riders's bike shorts. (If you're tucked in behind the lead rider you can draft off the leader's energy, saving some gas for the final big push.)

 

Being a big-time bike race there is a fair amount of planning and adjusting. Being a college weekend bike race there is still a fair amount of "just get out there and peddle as fast as you can." Part of the fun is seeing the balance between the two.

 

 

This weekend was spent watching a historic bicycle-racing three-peat.

 

   http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/htoxtras/galleries/indexdev.php?e=749

 

You'll have to use the scroll bar at the top, my youngest is the one with the upraised arms in the yellow jersey.

 

He crossed the finish line, but it was a team effort with four riders and a whole lot of support and love. and some tradition behind them.

Who do you know that's "old?"

When you're a teenager, somebody 25 is old.

When you're 25, somebody in their 40s is . . . old.

When you're 40, somebody in their 60s . . . that's old.

When you reach retirement age yourself (I'm just imagining now), I'll bet anybody pushing 85 is . . . old.

 

How about if you're 83?

The reason I bring this up is that we are dealing with "the aging process" quite a bit these days. I use the pronoun loosely.

Really? Beautiful spouse and her siblings are dealing with it while I get to make suggestions and write blog entries. My main suggestion has been (I made this name up) Plan B from Outer Space. Surprisingly they have rejected this plan. However I know that in the end they will all come around and see its wisdom, so I'm not too worried.

 

BOTH of her parents are dealing with the mysterious aging process. Last week they were both in the hospital. Different reasons, but same floor. However, her Mom forgot that she was in the hospital. She went across the hall (with her IV and catheter) and visited HIS room when he came up from shoulder surgery. An hour later she was done chatting and wanted to go home. Daughters had to remind her that she couldn't go home yet. Because she was in the hospital too.

 

When it was time to be released on Friday, they both decided that they wanted to go home. Of course home has a staircase. And they both still need help toiletting. (Don't worry: I'm not going into any details.) And they can't drive. Or cook. Or even get out of a chair, without help. So, actually, they were going to rehab at a very nice facility picked out by their daughters. It's a few thousand dollars a month, but their Mom will be covered by Medicare, so that helps with half of the bill.

 

They sort of think that they could just go home and have relatives take care of them, especially her Dad thinks this. He has been suggesting that one son-in-law (who is retired himself) could hang around and take care of them. (An interesting sidenote is that 25 years ago when HE was the son-in-law with an aging in-law he was busy building himself a vacation cabin in a neighboring state, so they were out of town a lot.)

 

After a couple weeks of rehab they will be able to move into "supportive living" in the same facility where the rehab is located. It is almost brand new and both the facility and the people are extremely nice. So . . . we are hoping that they will be won over and especially that they will meet some of the other people and feel like they have made a few friends. Because at "home" they are actually kind of lonely much of the time especially in the colder months when it is hard to get out.

 

However, when her Mom saw a lady in another room in a wheelchair, she said, "It's always so depressing when I see someone in a wheelchair who looks so old."

Every marriage has its ups and downs. But . . . does that mean it's a good idea to start by getting married on a roller coaster?

 

Crazy Minnesotans might be taking these things just a bit too literally : 

 

 

 

 

Here I am, back after a brief period of not posting. Internet went out at home, so I was a bit disabled. Even though I was able to go online briefly from a Panera's wi-fi cafe I just didn't have time to get anything posted here. Too much normal e-mails to wade through.

 

So I missed the recent full moon, the Pink Moon. Oh well. Nice moon, too. Hope you saw it.

 

When we returned home form vacation trip (drove to Florida) the first thing we noticed was a gasoline smell in the house. That was middle son's motorcycle in the garage with the gas tank removed and leaking fumes into the air and some gas onto the garage floor. Then we noticed that our TV cable wasn't working anymore.

 

Called our cable company to see what to do and when the "technician" on the other end of the phone line was finished we didn't have any Internet service either.

 

Rough week at our house. We watched a couple of movie DVDs during the week, but we were pretty busy and didn't miss the TV that much. Except for start of baseball season.

Sure, just a vacation fling. That's easy to say. You didn't see her in the pool with him.

 

My spouse got involved with another male. She paid him $150, just so she could touch his body. His very hot, warm-blooded body. She was thrilled to report that his skin is "like velvet."  And he's got a swimmer's physique. And he's strong and muscular. And she felt wonderful just to make eye contact. She raved about his cute "smile," which to me looked more like a sneer.

 

I stood around like an idiot letting this happen while we were on our vacation trip to northern Florida. She checked him out for a while, and then in the end couldn't resist the temptation. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it. For one thing, he outweighs me by at least 300 pounds. He's also an incredible athlete with a  vertical leap of over ten feet. Plus, I could never catch him. He swims like a fish.

 

Yes, I was able to convince her to go home with me. But she keeps thinking about him, and I know she would drive back in a minute just to be with him. The fact that he has a ton of cute girls catering to his every whim both day and night didn't deter her interest either. In fact, I think she would enjoy being one of them.

 

Yeah. Beautiful spouse wants to be a "dolphin girl."